Bachelorette Recap: The men roast Dale Moss for spending too much time with Clare Crawley
Note: This story contains spoilers of the Oct. 27 episode of The Bachelorette.
Did your marshmallow burn?
Because the roast of Dale Moss was aflame Tuesday on week three of The Bachelorette.
The Brandon, South Dakota man was the center of everyone's attention as we cringed through two hours of this season's trademark: awkwardness.
The pre-premiere rumors have so far played out as expected: that Moss and Clare Crawley hit it off early, and that Crawley leaves the show at some point. This episode granted us a little gift of a glimpse into the future with the next rumored leading lady, Tayshia Adams, with a clip of her stepping into the spotlight at the end.
Buckle in. This week did not hold back. If you were playing a drinking game and "Dale" was one of your trigger words ... you should probably call into work tomorrow.
It started with Crawley, 39, kicking off contestant Yosef Aborady after he said he "expected more" from the "oldest Bachelorette" in the show's history. The interaction, which included Aborady telling Crawley she wouldn't be fit to be the mother of his children, left Crawley in tears.
Episode 2:Bachelorette recap: Dale Moss 'on cloud nine' for Clare Crawley
Enter, Dale.
The 32-year-old South Dakota State University grad and global ambassador for the Special Olympics swooped in to save the day, giving Crawley a pep talk and a nice, long hug.
"Literally all I’ve ever wanted is a man like Dale," Crawley says after the encounter.
The next hour and a half was like a snowball rolling down a hill, the confusion growing in size and speed.
Moss was in the first group date and snatched Crawley for a good 40 minutes at the top of the date, something that irked the other fellas, as Moss had initially said he wanted to talk to her for about five minutes.
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The men continued to turn on Moss, especially after he snuck in a second make-out sesh with Crawley later on in the group date. He didn't help his case with a rambling attempt at explaining the lengthy one-on-one time. He did, though, look like a man struck by love, a goofy grin never leaving his face. Moss later "owned up" to his actions on the date.
Crawley's other suitors started to get the feeling they might just be sitting audience to her and Moss' love story, and took it out on Moss during a contestant roast in the episode's second group date.
Harvard boy Bennett railed into Moss, including a joke about his access to the NFL was only because recruiters thought he was related to Randy Moss, rubbing Crawley the wrong way.
Moss is probably lucky the men didn't have access to social media during the show. They surely would've had fire power with his past modeling experience with Party City that resurfaced this week. (Dale Taco, anyone?) Moss had some fun with his past, joining in on the "Where it started. How it's going" trend on social media of him in a Party City Super Man costume.
Just hours before his national roast, though, Moss hopped on Instagram to give a few words of wisdom to a teen from his hometown of Brandon. The teen asked him for advice about life, college and the NFL.
Apparently next week is when Crawley "blows up the Bachelorette" like we've all been waiting for. We'll have to see if she really calls it quits to pursue love with our Midwestern man.
Either way, it sounds like Crawley's last week is next week. And, can I just say, I'm not going to miss ABC using her and Dale's names as verbs.
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